A BRIEF AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL COMMENT FROM TROUT

Lassie was the first thing I received upon my arrival to Canada back in 1961. A gift from my paternal grandparents, she was accompanied by Mickey the Monkey, who went to my brother Andy, and Peter the Doll, a present for my sister Debbie. Debbie loved Peter, and he kicked around for years, eventually losing all his hair. I'm not quite sure what happened to Mickey the Monkey, but I still have Lassie.

Lassie spent a lot of time being dragged around the front garden with a string around her neck, which may explain why at some point a good dry cleaning might be in order. As a much younger animal, she underwent several sex changes, and the underlying confusion regarding gender identity remains to this day in the mind of her master Trout (the song "Just A Teenage Girl" is a prime example). Lassie has become a very wise old dog, and these days spends most of her time rubbing up against Karen's Legs.